It's Been Too Long

Today I was reading some other blogs and got the sudden, strong urge to post something on mine. It's been so long since I've posted on here that it feels a little strange to do so, but I'm sensing that I could benefit from writing on here again. I haven't been writing anywhere in months and months, but I know it helps me sort through my thoughts and feelings so I'm a little disappointed in myself for letting it fall by the wayside.

Anyway, I feel like I'm just floating in space right now. I'm neither here nor there. I'm constantly waiting for the next thing to happen. I'm waiting to get my tax return. I'm waiting to hear about places to live. I'm waiting to move into a new place. I'm waiting to get married. I'm waiting to have children. And on and on it goes. I don't really think it's the healthiest mindset to be in; always wanting something more, something different. On the other hand, anticipation isn't an entirely bad thing. Once again, it seems to come down to balance. I definitely don't feel balanced. I feel like I'm involved in too many things and therefore not doing a very good job of anything.

Ok, on to brighter things. Chad is awesome. He's the greatest guy I have ever met. I have never had someone appreciate me so much and treat me so well. I love that I can always depend on him for anything and everything. He takes very good care of me. He has such a huge heart and large shoulders, and that's something I find I can rest in. We have been so busy lately that we haven't been able to spend quality time together and we're both really starting to miss each other. So Friday evening we're just going to hang out together and catch up and I'm really looking forward to it :)

Wedding planning is ticking along just fine. We don't have much to do right now, so we've been much more focused on trying to find a place to live. I'm really hoping we hear something soon. We did get a call last week, but the apartment was in a building that allows pets (there are two buildings) and Chad's allergic to cats, so that wouldn't really work out. So we're waiting and trusting God that something will come up :)

Anyway, I should end this here. It feels good to write about what's going on. I don't think anyone will read this because I haven't written anything in so long, but I'm ok with that :)

Wedding Bells June 21st

Well, after 7 long years of anticipation I am finally getting married! Being engaged has so far been wonderful and ridiculous, all at the same time. I love wearing the ring and knowing that what I have with Chad is real and isn't going anywhere (I also love being able to buy bridal magazines and not having to hide them :P). However, wedding planning is something different altogether! Let's just say I'm fine with doing this only once :) It is a lot of work, but I know that when that day rolls around I'm going to love every moment of it and cherish the memories that will be made. It seems we're making good progress. We have asked people to be a part of our day (pastor, bridesmaids, groomsmen, musicians, etc.), the reception venue is booked (http://www.edpetclub.ab.ca/pembina.html), the flowers are taken care of (http://www.bestbuds.ca/default.asp), my wedding dress is ordered, and we're going to start working on the invitations this weekend. So far, so good :) I love Chad very much, we have tons of fun together, and I feel so safe with him, so I'm really excited to share the rest of my life with him :) Here's our "official" engagement photo :)

Sorry!

I feel so bad that I haven't written on here in a long time. I've been so busy with work and church and other things that I haven't had much time. I also blame it on Facebook. Blessing or curse, I have yet to determine :P

The latest happening was having Sheena Grobb play here in the city. She is very talented and I enjoyed her performance very much :) If you want to check out her music, you can listen to a few of her songs on her myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/sheenagrobb

Laura and I went to the Rufus Wainwright show when he was in town last week. He is very talented and put on a very good show. Here's a picture of us before the show:



Also, I just found out today that I have to move in 2 weeks! Crazy! It wouldn't be that bad except that I'll be away on vacation on the day I have to be out, so that means I have to be out before I leave, which means I don't have much time to get everything done. And here I thought my life couldn't get any crazier :P Oh well, I'm sure it'll all work out :) I'm not worried about it really, so that's a good thing. I don't have that much stuff, so it shouldn't take me very long to pack it all up. It'll be interesting trying to juggle packing to move and packing for my vacation. Oh well :) I'm happy for Elaine that the condo sold. It must be a big weight off of her shoulders. She's got it worse than me with the whole time crunch thing. She's way busier than I am and is going on vacation this weekend! I hope it doesn't get to be too much for her.

Anyway, that's what's been and is going on right now :)

My Crazy Weekend

This weekend past was so crazy busy, but also mostly a lot of fun. For mine and Chad's 1 year anniversary I took him to get a couple's massage and it was SO good. I love massages and I think I have Chad hooked now :) Then he took me to a really nice restaurant, but I keep forgetting the name of the place. It was very nice though, and the food was good. Then we went for Marble Slab ice cream and just hung out. It was good :) Then on Saturday Chad and I and Laura went out to Westlock for Mom's and my cousin's birthday party. That was fun too :) Then we drove back to see The Police in concert that night, and that was pretty awesome :) We really enjoyed ourselves and took lots of pictures because we're nerds :P We had box seat tickets, so we got free food and drinks to enjoy during the concert, but the seats were up pretty high. No big deal though, I'm not complaining :) Anyway, here are some pictures from the concert :)

Gideon :)

Ok, I haven't posted in a while because I've been very, very busy. I'm doing pretty good and I have an eventful weekend coming up. First, tomorrow evening Chad and I are celebrating our 1 year anniversary :) I think it'll be fun, but I won't spoil the surprise by saying what I have planned. I'll write something on here about that after tomorrow. Then, Saturday night I'm going to the Police concert!!! I just found out today that a friend of mine has an extra ticket, so I'm so in! I'm pretty excited :)

Last weekend Chad and I took our friends' baby, Gideon, out for some fun at the park so our friends could get some unpacking done. Here are some pics from the outing. I posted them on Facebook already, so I'm guessing a lot of you will have already seen these, but for those who don't have a Facebook account, here's Gideon :)

The Darkness

I really feel like there's a darkness that's infiltrating the lives of many people these days. It creeps up on them and suddenly they're being strangled and are looking for a way to breathe again. I want to help them so much, but I have no idea what to do. For some reason people seem to think I know what to do, but I don't. People are calling me, emailing me, talking to me, looking for answers and I'm wondering what makes them think I know. However, I am thankful that they are reaching out to someone. Perhaps I have more in me than I realize and that I do have something inside of me that can help them push back the darkness. Is what's inside of me the reason why I'm not experiencing the darkness myself? Probably. I tend to resent having to be strong all the time, but perhaps I should just embrace it and be thankful that I have access to strength for myself and for others. I just wish I could shake the ever-present feeling that I'm not doing enough.

Then there's the dream that won't leave my head lately, and I'm wondering if it's related to the darkness. I'm in a garden and I'm trying to save the flowers that the wind is trying to steal from it, particularly a white rose. Someone behind me is yelling to me to hold on as the wind pulls my arm over the fence in an attempt to steal the rose out of my hand. I hold on to it so tightly that oil pours out from the rose all over my hand. If I can hold on to that rose tightly and for long enough, maybe I can help stop the darkness that tries to steal their lives. Maybe I can.

Sorry for the cryptic post. I just needed to get that off my chest. Your prayers are much appreciated.

Say Something

Ok, I'm sorry, it's been a long time since I last posted. My sincere apologizes. I will blame it both on the addictive nature of Facebook (oh so addictive!) and my insane level of busyness (oh so insane!). Anyway, I know I complain enough about other people not posting for whatever I consider to be long periods of time, and I don't want to be a hypocrite, so I have to post something. Anything. ANYTHING!!! As you can tell, I am desperate to post and have very little to say. I suppose I could write about what's been going on, but I'm pretty sure it'll be boring. Oh well, here goes nothing (really).

I've been working a lot. I took on a part time job on top of my full time job in an effort to get ahead in life, so it's been keeping me pretty busy. It's only an extra 10 hours a week, but I'm really feeling it. There are lots of things to do and people to see and I have to say no a lot more now than I used to. Being the social person that I am, I don't like it. However, I do understand that it's necessary sometimes to just suck it up and do what you need to do first and socialize second, and for me it's that time in my life. Some would probably argue that this time should've come a lot earlier, and they would probably be right. Oh well, better now than never :)

I'm busy with other things, including church stuff and helping my sister with chemistry, but I won't get into that right now because I don't feel like it. Oh, I would like to say that I have a new computer at work and I'm mostly loving it, except for Vista's compatibility issues. It's actually pretty annoying. Why would you put out a program that doesn't work with most things? Lame. Oh well, it looks nice, especially on my 19" widescreen monitor :) I know, I'm a nerd. It's ok. I've come to embrace my nerdy, strange nature. I often say we should all be nerds about something :)

CD Release Party

So Nathan's CD release party was really great :) I just wanted to post some pictures Chad took that night. If you haven't already, you should definitely get a copy of his CD because it's really great.

The Tie-In To Dyin'

I know this is pretty last minute, but Nathan's CD release party is this Friday at The Maverick Room (10229-105 ST). It's going to be great, so make every effort to come out :) Tickets are $12 at the door and I think doors open at around 8pm. Just as a side note, the poster is supposed to be brown, but for some reason it turns blue when I upload it.

Shopping

I have a couple of things to say about shopping. First, I think I have a shopping problem. The only way I can keep myself from buying something is if I don't go into the store in the first place. If I go in and try something on and like it, then I'm finished. Even if I manage to make it out of the store without anything, I'll keep thinking about whatever it was I liked and there's a good chance I'll go back and get it. I did that recently at Club Monaco. I just went to look and ended up going back to pick up a cardigan I tried on. In my defense, I did have enough money for it as long as I kept a close eye on my money for the rest of the month. Also, it's a good staple piece. However, in the grand scheme of things, did I really have to have it? I need to learn the value of delayed gratification (as Chad would say :) So now, in order to help deal with my shopping problem, and to help save for more important things, I've imposed upon myself (with the help of Chad and Kelly) a no shopping rule that began some time in February and is to last until Easter. That means I cannot buy myself any clothes or shoes until then. I did a no shopping month in September and it was really hard, but I managed to pull it off, so I think I can do it again and I definitely think it will be worth it :)

Here's a picture of the last thing I bought (at Aritzia - my favourite store) before the imposed no shopping rule:



The pair I got was gray with black stripes. Anyway, they're pretty short, but I plan on wearing them with leggings. I'm just waiting for it to warm up.

The second thing is that I am quite displeased in general these days with customer service. It definitely has gone downhill. Whatever happened to common courtesy that should be shown to everyone? Sometimes I walk into certain stores and feel so out of place and wonder if I'm being looked down upon because I look young or not wealthy enough. That said, I would like to say that my last shopping experience at Club Monaco was a good one. The sales guy there was so helpful and nice, and he's always that way with me (I've been helped by him before). I was so impressed that when I went to the till to buy the cardigan, I gave him a glowing review. I told the guy at the till how pleased I was with that particular sales guy and how much I appreciated being treated well. He said he'd pass it along, so I hope it made the sales guy feel good about himself and encouraged him to continue treating everyone that way.

My Picky Sweets

Pay close attention to this photo, for something quite funny is going on. Also notice the totally awesome scarf he's wearing. Someone fantastic must have made it for him :P To see more in this series of photos, go to http://www.flickr.com/photos/73523990@N00/

Struggles

I was thinking about relationships and struggles this morning. I have said to Chad on more than one occasion: "I don't want to have to struggle". However, this morning I was thinking about it and I realized that most, if not all, couples struggle with something at some point, and those struggles last for varying periods of time. So I guess I'm going to have struggles in my life, no matter who I'm with. If I have to go through struggles in this life, then there's no one else I'd rather go through them with than you sweets. I think I'm starting to understand why you say you look forward to the hard times as much as the good times.

My Hockey Love is Gone

Ok, here's the post on Ryan Smyth's departure that I promised. As you can see, the picture was worth the wait (to see more photos by the photographer who took this photo, go to http://www.flickr.com/photos/73523990@N00/). I'm very sad to see him leave. I can honestly say he was my first hockey love, and everyone knows how hard it is to get over your first love. I saw a picture of him last night with a NY Islanders jersey on and it was like a knife to my heart! I can't say I completely understand what happened. Why did they trade him? Was it just about money? If so, how much? Did he or did he not actually want to stay? Why would you trade your best player? So many questions I have no real way of getting answers to. All I know is that it's sad to see him go. Goodbye Smytty; you'll always be in my hockey heart.

Ryan Smyth

Believe me, I have something to say and emotions to express about this. However, I need the right picture to go along with it, so please bear with me until I can get that picture. It'll be worth the wait, at least in my opinion :)

Why I am Blessed

Yesterday I was thinking about relationships. I was thinking about other peoples' relationships and my relationship with Chad. I realized that I am so blessed to be with Chad because he ALWAYS considers me in everything. I know that we would live a life of mutual consideration, and we would have a strong partnership in which all decisions would be made with both of us in mind. That realization made me feel very safe and relieved, but it also made me feel very upset because I know people who don't have that. I know people who are with significant others who put themselves and their philosophies first. I know that no matter what Chad's philosophies or ideas are in any area, he will still put me first, and that makes it so easy for me to trust him.

Decisions

Decisions, decisions. They can be so hard to make sometimes.
I think it's one reason why I have well-developed procrastination tendencies :)

Valentine's Day

Because Chad is leaving for Scotland on Thursday (the day after Valentine's Day) we decided to celebrate on Sunday, all day. It was a really nice day and the first V-Day that I remember enjoying in a very long time. I bought Chad the "Hockey: A People's History" DVD set, so we've been watching and enjoying that, and I took him out for dessert at La Ronde in the evening. He bought me a massage at Eveline Charles (which I thoroughly enjoyed), and when I came out he was waiting for me with flowers :) Then he took me for supper at Khazana (my favourite restaurant) and we enjoyed some very tasty East Indian food :) So it was a very good day :) Here are a couple of pictures of the flowers he gave to me :)

Nathan at the Sidetrack

There was a CD release party at the Sidetrack and at the end of it my friend Nathan and a bunch of other friends played songs from Nathan's upcoming CD. I'm so excited for Nathan. I think he is very talented :) It was a lot of fun watching him and the others play. If you want to check out some of his music then search for Nathan Carroll in MySpace Music. Here are some pics that I also got from Marc's site :)

Martin and Jess' Wedding

Here are some pictures from Martin and Jess' wedding that I got from Marc's website (majiksznak.net). I really enjoyed the wedding (even though I wasn't feeling well) and I think Martin and Jess make a great couple :)

Babies!

I love babies. They are so adorable! There have been a lot of babies being born around me lately. Here are pictures of two such infants: Nevin and Gideon!







Here I am with little Nevin :) He's Rachel and Logan's son and he's a cutie :)
















Here I am with Gideon :) He's Nathan and Heidi's son. I love holding the little guy :)