Max

I've been considering posting about Max since yesterday, but I'm afraid to because I'm afraid it will hurt too much. I am in so much pain right now and I have such a huge sense of loss that talking about him automatically brings tears to my eyes. He was the most wonderful pet anyone could ever ask for. He had such a gentle spirit combined with an amazing exuberance for life. He brought so much joy to my family that the void he has left seems too much to bear at times. He was 13 years old, so it was probably just his time, but I was no where near ready to let him go. He always seemed so young that the reality of his age never really hit me. I rarely had thoughts about how old he was or how he seemed to be slowing down, because he never seemed to be.

I got the call that he was dying Tuesday night and had to go say goodbye Wednesday morning. I was determined to be there with him when they put him down because I didn't want him to be alone. That was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I was a complete mess, sobbing and sobbing and telling him that it would be ok and that I loved him, holding him in my arms while he passed away. Seeing him lying there without any life left in him was more than I could bear, but at the same time I didn't want to leave because I knew I'd never see him again. Now I'm just trying to deal with the emptiness inside my heart. It feels like nothing else really matters right now, only the fact that he's gone.

I know in time the pain will go away, but I'll never forget him. He gave me unconditional love and I'll forever be grateful that I had him in my life.